I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time – to be in company even with the best is soon wearisome and dissipating – I love to be alone – I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude

HENRY DAVID THOREAU

I am a runner – a solitary endeavor – most times. Most mornings I’d run with my friends. Each have had to stop running with me over the past couple of years due to various reasons, i.e., schedule changes, reoccurring injuries.

During my solo run this morning I had many thoughts – how did I get here? Alone. Sure, I miss running with friends but enjoy the luxury of entertaining my thoughts and memories. Is this solitude?

Over the years I’ve enjoyed being around people – As I look around my home – most of my artwork depict people. A friend even stated to me once – you really like people, don’t you? Most of your art is of people. As I ponder her observation – is something wrong with that? Hmm.

There’s the painting my friend Viv gifted me years ago by the artist Maurice Hodo. It’s of a woman in African attire sitting alone and looking intently but not staring out at something far away. Viv remarked “ when I saw this piece – I immediately thought of you because of the expression on the woman’s face”. You like it? She asked. As I looked deeply at the art piece, I responded – I do like it – what do you think she’s thinking about and why did it remind you of me? Well, Viv stated – sometimes you have the same expression on your face as the woman in the painting of someone in deep reflective thought and you like she seem to be – would be perfectly fine away from the crowd. Is that solitude?

One of my favorite vocalists is Billie Holiday – in her signature song – In My Solitude – she sings of being haunted with reveries of days gone by – she sits and stare – for she knows she’ll soon go mad!! “Dear Lord send me back my love”.

Well, I do view my solitude a bit different – especially the going mad part – don’t think I ever asked the Lord “to send  me back any of the men I loved” – is that solitude?

Several years ago, I ran into a grade school friend. We were catching up about our families and we began to keep in touch briefly. (She’d always have to whisper when we talked – “girl I don’t want him (her mate/her boo/her one and only) to hear us talk about out grade schoolgirl antics.” We were maybe 10 to 12 years old – hmmm. Obviously, my friend never felt the pleasure of being able to freely speak about a time in her life when her amore was not even in the picture. I did ask her if she ever experienced solitude and she look at me strangely.  She told her Mom, she’d ran into me and her Mom asked – did that girl ever get married? My friend answered – No. Her mother responded – “she was always one of your smarter friends – she doing ok – ain’t she?”

What did my friend’s Mom see? Did she determine that because I moved in a certain way – that I’d grow into a woman who embraces solitude?

Solitude affords you the opportunity to reflect and recharge. It gives you a look within that you are unable to do in the company of others.

I have a print by the artist Salvador Dali of a woman looking out onto a body of water. The piece depicts the woman’s body from the back and her face is out of view – I like it because the artist has captured the body language of someone enjoying a quiet moment soaking in the sight of a calm body of water. Is this solitude?

A peace filled state of being – never rushed. Always filled with pleasant sights, sounds, smells and lends itself to a keen awareness of the present. This is my solitude.