My name is BJ Parker, Commander of Engagement for HomePage1, a company committed to helping people reach their personal and professional FullNess and host of Parker Rules. My history is being a survivor and a thriver in an imperfect world. Parker Rules is a weekly Podcast to connect my point of view to the awareness and views of others. It is my belief we all yearn for something. If we can connect with that “something” we can begin listening to the right voices for us. Often, we attempt to fill ourselves with what I call “outers” – drugs/alcohol/shopping/media/food/clutter/sex/unrewarding relationships/unfulfilling careers and more distractions that can be covered in my first Podcast.
Some years ago, I found myself in a less than rewarding job situation. It was a good company but no opportunities for advancement I would later discover. A poignant moment happened when I approached my boss at the time to inquire about a sales position that had become available. His response was not only NO but he said “HE’D NEVER” hire me for any advanced career opportunities in his division. He offered no explanation as to why such a firm decision. I went to the ladies’ room and wept. I later learned that I had been blocked from other positions in other divisions as well. Racism permeated the organization and in my naivete I didn’t think his NO had anything to do with my being an African American woman. I had witnessed his genuine consideration of all his staff including the African Americans only to later find out it was not really genuine. However, I believe a bigger issue was really at play – he personally a racist as much as he was just following the culture of the industry as a whole. All the sales people were white males with the exception of one white woman whose husband was a friend of his at another organization in the same industry.
Later a white female colleague was given a cash bonus for a project. I had previously completed the same project successfully and I did not get a bonus or a thank you.
I would not suffer continued blatant racism and humiliation by remaining with this organization. It was a big, scary decision but I chose to leave the employer and say yes to a dream I had in my heart – open a business.
PARKER RULES #1
When Someone Says No To You – Use The Moment to Say Yes to Yourself Sometimes the only way we can say yes to ourselves is for someone else to say no to us. The former boss wound up doing me a huge favor because I left his employment and launched my first company. I have asked myself – what did he see or not see? More importantly what prompted him to say no to me. When I submitted my resignation – he stated to me – “I wondered how long you were going to sit at that desk and stare at the Claude Monet print”. Hmm! He did see something! Could it have been that he could see me constricted behind the desk or a racist organization? Could it have been that I was never a good fit? He had been forced to hire me (the company’s diversity initiative-a joke at the time and still a joke) to fill the minority quota? Were there any mutually beneficial rewards for the company or myself in our liaison? At what point did our liaison turn to no?
I did not say yes to the initial job offer out of any kind of pressure. I really thought it’d be a good career opportunity. I would get a chance to learn new things – meet new people. All good. Right?
It was all good initially until it was not. How did I get blindsided? Often when we are not paying attention and keeping check on what is motivating us and making us happy, we can wind up in unrewarding liaisons.
Are you saying yes to you?
Don’t let your story die inside you – HomePage1 – helping you find FullNESS = a life that is free – unique-loved-lean-noble-enlightened-spiritual and solvent.